After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
