apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
