That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
