whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
