Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
