Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize