What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
