i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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