4 words: hood of his car
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
