we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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