"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
