Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
my being single is dangerous.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
