cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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