i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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