I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
