this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
