FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
two words...techno handjob
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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