wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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