feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
