You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
