i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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