I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
