my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
