apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
im holly from the hills drunk
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
