I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Drake has all the answers
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
