I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
