I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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