.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
