She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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