hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
