Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
