I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
