Christians are straight up FREAKS
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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