He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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