oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
