im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
