So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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