trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
the liver wants what the liver wants
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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