Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
