butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
