how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He did a backflip because drugs
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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