this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
