I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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