also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
