I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
