So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
