when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
