apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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