I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
