dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
