just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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