she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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