I'm sorry my penis didn't work
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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