Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize