True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
