We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
