The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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