Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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