He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
