If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
