I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
