dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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