it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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