Three words: puerto rican gang bang
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
