She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
