cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
