he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
